About Desert Winter Invitational

The Desert Winter Invitational was founded in 2022 by a secretive cabal consisting of Dale “Tiger” Montano and Zachary “ZLo” Lovelady.  Both men,  passionate golfers, gamblers, savants and lovers who wanted to share their obsession of the game with similarly addicted golfing degenerates.  “These geniuses caught lightning in a bottle and developed the world‘s premier golf tournament - The Desert Winter Invitational. I wish I had thought of it instead of the other Tiger.” - Eldrich Woods

The initial event was met with rave reviews from the competitors, media,  and spectators:

”It was chill. I kinda remember it.” - Bich Raca (pronounced Beesh Rocka), Armenian superstar, number 4 best Armenian golfer and elite ball striker. 

”It was yuuuuge and glorious, I would have attended but for that whole January 6th thing.“ - Donald J. Trump

”I fell in love 16 times. So much man-meat. Purr.” - Carmen Electra

”Best food ever.  Kudos to Natalie! Bam!” - Emeril Lagasse

"These men were ravenous pigs. They were pretty hungry too." Natalie "Momma Bear" Lovelady

”I’m glad I made it through airport security.” David “Scottish Terrorist” Hargis

”My samurai irons were forged exclusively for this event.  However, I brought great dishonor to myself when I failed to drink a single cocktail.” Cody “Hatori Hanzo“ Hanna

“I was supposed to leave early, but my flight was cancelled or something.” Jesse “the Body” Varoz

”Fucking Tiger can’t drive a golf cart and I almost ruined my Jordans. Fuck that guy.” Daniel “DT” Trujillo

“I can’t believe lightning didn’t strike down from the heavens.” Patrick “The Reverend” Fossuo

“I knew going in to the DWI that I had as much of a chance of winning as the Cowboys do winning a playoff game.” Pravin ”Animal Planet”  Patel 

“I was the best player out there.  Don’t believe me? Let me tell you.“ Julian ”who hurt me?” Vallez 

”I am a pro’s pro.  Everything I touch turns to gold.” - Tiger Montano

”Fuck it Dude, let’s go bowling.” - ZLo

The inaugural event was held in January, 2023 in the Coachella Valley.  A select few were hand picked  to attend and battle the elements and each other in the  picturesque golfing valley.  16 men entered and only one victor emerged.  That man instantly became LEGEND.

 Already a distinguished gentlemen and champion, two  time COVID survivor, leader of men, multiple time Co-Captain of the winning Players Cup Team, Mayor of the ACC, handsome, tall, elegant, powerful, bald and graceful.  This giant among giants added the crown jewel to his already impeccable and ever growing golfing achievements - Inaugural, always and forever, DWI Champion, 

Alexander “Justice” Crecca

“My mission was to lead by example, to shine and rise above, to cement my legacy, to win.  Because that’s what winners do, they rise above adversity, they overcome all obstacles, they lift their fellow man, they find a way, they win.”

- Justice

For every winner, there must also be 15 losers.  And no loser exemplified losing more than Lance “Cupcake” Wainright.  Wainright not only lost, he lost overwhelming. “I’ve never seen anyone lose with such panache, such determination.  Believe me, I tried to best him, I was there pushing him.  Hard.  From behind. But I couldn’t break  him.” Giovanni “How You Do?” Coppola.

”You wanna know why I think he lost the way he did? I think Cupcake blew his load trying to fight Pravin.  I wasn’t going to let that happen.” - 

Rick ”Fun Doubler” Black

”I‘m not sure how this happened.“ - Cupcake

With impeccable leadership from the founding fathers, Tiger and Zlo, and made stronger by the ascension of the first of his kind, the legendary and the forever Champion, Justice, the DWI continues its inevitable and meteoric rise.  Word quickly spread of the shenanigans, heroic achievements of not only the Champion, but all the valorous contestants. Others clamored to become part of history, they begged, they cried, they plead to become the chosen.  After much deliberation, those entrusted with the power to decide allowed six more men into the fold.  Each a true golfing degenerate. This year more history will be made, more hearts will be broken, more will happen. 

A LIV  Golf Acquisition?

”There are rumors that LIV is looking for its first Major Championship and to achieve that, they would purchase the DWI and steal its glorious Champion and founders away. I certainly pray to the good Lord that those rumors are not true.  It would destroy a piece of my soul and forever alter the landscape of golf.” - Rory Mcilroy

”If I was LIV, I’d open up that checkbook, the number would start with ”B” and I would get this done.  It would be bigger than the Super Bowl. I wish I was relevant enough to get an invite.“ - Pat McAfee

"If this happens (a LIV purchase), that's some serious thunder stealing bullshit" - John Rahm

Asked for a response by the irrepressible and ravenous media, DWI Vice President of Public and Player Relations, Josh “Chainsaw Chachi” Caldes responded: 

“Say less“